Tag Archives: GAME OF THRONES

“BUILD THE WALL!”

I had a funny idea regarding Trump’s obsession with his vanity wall project. In Game of Thrones, the character known as Hodor had a seizure and kept saying “Hold the door” until it slurred into “Hodor” and it became all he could say. What if something similar happens to Trump where he has a seizure and keeps saying “Build the wall” before slurring it into “Billall” and it becomes all he can say. Lately, talking about the wall that will never be built is all Trump talks about so I thought it would be fun if this happened to him.

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THE NEW NIGHT QUEEN

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In the books of A Song of Ice and Fire, it was mentioned that the original Night’s King had a consort. With this in mind, I heard a literally chilling rumor that Cersei Lannister will become the new Night Queen. When you think about it, it is not as unusual as you might think. The reason for this is because even if she gets the Golden Company, amasses more wildfire, and builds more anti-dragon scorpions, she is hopelessly and hilariously outnumbered and outgunned by both the Starks/Targaryens and the White Walkers. When her attempts to fight both factions continue to fail, she will become desperate enough to literally sell her soul to the devil. Becoming the Night King’s new consort would be the only way she could escape defeat and hold onto what little power she has left. She is definitely crazy and desperate enough to pull something like that off.

THE FATE OF HOUSE STARK

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After further analyzing the plot leak for the final season of Game of Thrones, I think I have found a deeper meaning to the bitter part of the ending. Based on the plot leak, House Targaryen will survive through Jon Snow, Daenerys, and their children. However, because Jon was never a Stark to begin with, his children cannot claim the Stark name and will instead inherit the Targaryen name. After fulfilling his purpose as the three-eyed raven, Bran Stark will die and the legitimate male bloodline of House Stark will die with him. Neither Arya nor Sansa show any signs of producing an heir anytime soon. Because Arya is so independent, she is not the kind of person to settle down and start a family. In addition, Arya was stabbed where her womb would be by the Waif while she was in Braavos, which could have destroyed her ability to have children. Also, we have no idea what Ramsay Snow did to Sansa during their marriage, which could mean that Sansa cannot have children. Overall, the bittersweet ending of the story would be that the Starks get their revenge against their enemies and save the world from the White Walkers, but their name and bloodline will die with them. This will be how one of the oldest living dynasties in Westeros would die.

BATTLE OF THE KINGSROAD

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Even though I found the Dance of the Dragons to be a senseless war, there were quite a few epic battles and intriguing cutthroat politics. My favorite battle from the war that did not include a dragon would be the Battle of the Kingsroad. It was the very last battle of the Dance of the Dragons and ultimately decided the fate of the Targaryen Dynasty. After Rhaenyra Targaryen died, Lord Borros Baratheon of Storm’s End finally emerged with his army to support King Aegon II. Even though Lord Baratheon sided with Aegon II, he stayed out of most of the war in order to avoid the dragons. With Rhaenyra dead and most of the dragons gone, Lord Borros saw this as his chance to support his king. By the time he reached King’s Landing, word reached the Red Keep that one of Rhaenyra’s last supporters, Kermit Tully of Riverrun, was leading an army of riverlords towards the capital in the name of Rhaenyra’s last son, Aegon the Younger. Aegon II sent Borros Baratheon to defuse this threat and bolstered Borros’s army until it was between seven to eight thousand strong. As he marched, Lord Baratheon had six hundred knights and four thousand infantry from the Stormlands and soldiers from the Crownlands. Lord Baratheon met the Tully host along the Kingsroad between a hill on one side and a forest on the other. After learning that the Tully army was being led by two boys and a woman, Lord Baratheon was arrogantly confident that he would win. However, because Borros and his men stayed out of the war, they did not participate in a single battle, which left them green, undisciplined, and inexperienced. Even though Borros was older than the Tullys and outnumbered their army two to one, Kermit Tully and his men were far more battle-hardened. One could argue that Kermit Tully was the Tully version of Robb Stark, a young man who was a natural as both a warrior and military commander. In the middle of the Kingsroad, Kermit Tully assembled an impregnable shield wall while his archers were perched on top of the hill. Lord Baratheon led his knights and infantry in a brute force attack against the shield wall, but the archers under the command of Alysanne Blackwood killed the Baratheon horses, collapsing the Baratheon vanguard as it struck the shield wall. Once the shield wall held the Stormlanders in place, Alysanne’s young nephew Benjicot “Bloody Ben” Blackwood emerged from the forest and outflanked the Baratheon soldiers with his own men. When the Crownland levies saw the battle was lost, they either fled or defected to the Tullys and attacked the Baratheons from behind. With Borros and his men trapped in a pincer movement, the battle quickly turned into a one-sided massacre. Even after losing his horse, Borros Baratheon refused to yield and kept fighting until he was confronted by the teenage Kermit Tully himself. Kermit gave Borros one final chance to yield, but Borros cursed him instead. In response, Kermit Tully caved in Borros’s skull with his morningstar. With Borros dead, the remainder of King Aegon II’s army fled and King’s Landing was wide open to attack from Kermit Tully’s battle-hardened riverlords. Even with the last of his armies defeated and the armies of the North, Riverlands, and Vale closing in, Aegon II refused to surrender, which led to his poisoning by his own courtiers. The Battle of the Kingsroad led to the end of Aegon II’s reign and paved the way to the reign of Aegon III AKA the Dragonbane.

JAEHAERYS THE DRAGONLORD

 

Like many early Targaryens, Jaehaerys the Conciliator was a dragonrider with his own dragon. His dragon was named Vermithor AKA the Bronze Fury. Vermithor had magnificent bronze scales, tan wings, and he was the third largest dragon after Balerion and Vhagar. We have all seen Targaryens threatening their enemies with their dragons, but Jaehaerys did it in a smart way. Instead of openly threatening unruly vassals and describing what his dragon will do to them, Jaehaerys simply showed them his dragon. He made no mention of threatening them with his dragon, but the veiled threat was in plain sight. He was nonverbally saying, “Obey me or I will unleash HIM on you!” The very sight of the growing dragon was more than enough to frighten his enemies into submission. When showing the dragon was not enough, Jaehaerys rode Vermithor and took flight to put down the conflict personally. On one occasion, Jaehaerys took his sons Aemon and Baelon on their dragons with him to defeat an attempted invasion from Dorne. Jaehaerys and his sons used their dragons to burn the Dornish fleet into the sea and the royal army did not suffer a single casualty and this war with Dorne ended in a single day. Both with his sword and with his dragon, Jaehaerys knew how to fight and win his battles quickly and decisively. Jaehaerys demonstrated how you should rule the Seven Kingdoms with dragons.

JAEHAERYS THE WARRIOR KING

 

As I mentioned in my previous post, Jaehaerys I ruled the Iron Throne longer than anyone before or after him. He was widely known as a good king, but you do not have a reign as long as his just from being good. Just because he was a good king, Jaehaerys was by no means a weakling like his father Aenys I. During the first two years of his reign, Jaehaerys trained every morning with his master-at-arms and Kingsguard so that he would not be weak like his father and no one would doubt his courage. Based on the reigns of his grandfather, father, and uncle, Jaehaerys knew there would be challenges for him throughout his reign and he wanted to be ready when those challenges came. There were times when Jaehaerys had to put down a rebellion or fight his own battles. One time, a knight from the Reach seduced and violated one of his daughters and Jaehaerys brought the knight before him. When the knight asked for a trial-by-combat, Jaehaerys personally fought him instead of sending one of his Kingsguard. During the duel, Jaehaerys remained on the defensive and waited for the younger man to tire himself out. When that happened, Jaehaerys went on the offensive and drove his sword through the knight’s skull. Most kings we have seen in Game of Thrones were either warriors or politicians, but Jaehaerys was a healthy balance between warrior and politician.

JAEHAERYS THE CONCILIATOR

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Easily my all-time favorite Targaryen king would be Jaehaerys the First of His Name AKA The Conciliator. He was easily the greatest king House Targaryen ever produced and many historians believed he was the greatest king Westeros has ever known. He ruled the Iron Throne for fifty-five years, which is longer than any living soul before or after him. He was crowned when he was just a fourteen-year-old kid, but he proved wise, charismatic, and just beyond his years. Like Robb Stark, Jaehaerys married for love instead of political gain, but unlike Robb Stark, Jaehaerys was able to get away with it because of the power and authority he wielded. His true love was his sister Alysanne, who was a wise and capable politician in her own right. He always listened to his queen and many of his decisions were influenced by her. They had thirteen children, but only nine of them grew into adulthood and four had children and grandchildren of their own. Later in his reign, Jaehaerys had one succession crisis after another as several of his children died from wars, diseases, and accidents. Eventually, Jaehaerys held a Great Council where the lords of Westeros decided who would succeed him, which turned out to be his grandson who would reign as Viserys I. After his queen died, Jaehaerys became a broken shadow of his former self and old age made his mind fade. He died peacefully in his bed, which is EXTREMELY rare in the Game of Thrones universe. He was sixty-nine years old and his death was felt across the Seven Kingdoms. Even Dorne, who were part-time enemies of the Targaryens at the time, mourned Jaehaerys’s death. You know someone was a truly great king if even his enemies mourned him. His reign was a time of unprecedented peace, prosperity, and justice that Westeros would never see again. Thanks to Jaehaerys’s efforts, his grandson inherited a secure throne, an overflowing treasury, and a legacy of goodwill from the people. No other king since has been on Jaehaerys’s level and he was one of the rare few who were truly worthy to rule the Iron Throne.