Tag Archives: CHRISTMAS

BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT

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I got this very pleasing gift for Christmas. It is toilet paper that has all of Trump’s Tweets printed on them; every lie and every insult. This gift gives me a golden opportunity to properly wipe away Trump’s lies and insults. I will be saving this for either Trump’s impeachment or when Robert Mueller reveals the full extent of his investigation. I can’t wait!

CHRISTMAS DINNER 2017!!!

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I had a Christmas dinner to remember this year! My family and I went to an all-you-can-eat buffet that served the best high-class food we had in a long time. I went to the buffet four times and a lot of the food I had I never had before. It was a serious culinary adventure! Among these new foods was the dark meat of a goose. It was so juicy and succulent that it relaxed me to the point in which I was mentally like play dough. The dark goose meat was so good that I effectively stripped the kitchen of all its dark goose meat. The light meat of the goose just tasted like pork tenderloin so it was nowhere near as special as the dark meat. I had caviar that smelled like the ocean but did not have the crunchy/nutty texture that the caviar I had weeks earlier. I had oysters and mussels, which were slimy, salty, and roughly tickled the back of my throat. The desserts were divine and included a raspberry torte that had the same relaxing effect the goose meat had. Overall, it was a great Christmas dinner that I did not want to end because it was too f***ing good!