Due to the way my autism allows me to process my emotions, I have an extremely limited understanding of what love is. I can understand familial love, but I often mix it with another random emotion instead of keeping it separate. Still, despite this, my understanding of familial love is enough for me to include my family in my series. In particular, I based the personality of my female lead after my late grandmother because I would like to marry a woman who is as gentle and compassionate as my grandmother.

As for romantic love, I am completely at a loss of what it entails. When I was young, I thought of what it would be like to be in love, but I had no idea what the nature of romantic love was. Because my autism prevented me from feeling romantic love, I lost interest in it over the years.

While the way I experience rage is straightforward, love is a lot more complicated. It is almost as though my mind is attempting to venture into uncharted territory without a compass. Some of my other emotions are simple and easy to explain, I often find myself struggling to differentiate my ability to feel love with my other emotions. In this sense, my autism has made it like putting random emotions into a blender when I try to understand love.


5 thoughts on “MY THOUGHTS (PART 7)”

  1. Have you ever come across ‘social stories?’ I’ve used them over the years with someone very close to me. They are an ideal way to help an individual understand emotions from a different point of view.

    Love is, at the best of times, complicated and prone to subjectivity and often, open to interpretation. That you admit to your lack of understanding of it, is something that others could perhaps help you to understand a little bit more. Don’t give up. You are not alone.

  2. To me, Grady It seems like you do understand romantic love. It is just like putting your emotions into a blender. More technically love is a release of chemicals into your body that interact with your brain. When you are with the person that you love you feel euphoria. when you are away from that person you feel depressed. And the more time you spend with that person the more tolerances you build up to the chemicals in your body, so you are always chasing that original euphoria. So romantic love is a little like being a drug addict.

  3. Do you ever obsess over something? An item or article or subject? Love is obsessing over someone in a simple term. It’s wanting to be around them, feel their presence, make contact with them in any way possible.

    I think of love as caring more about a single person then the rest of the world. True love should be so strong you’d watch the world burn just to protect them.

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